Fatherly Love

One of my favorite girls was discharged today. She was always so bright and cheerful, open and honest. She smiled as she packed her bags, excited to go home, but nervous too. I helped her get everything together and felt a little sentimental as she left my unit, beaming.

She came back 30 minutes later in tears.

Unbeknownst to us, her father had come to pick her up. The problem was that her father did not have custody of her, and the minute he saw his daughter he began to swear and curse at her, calling her names and mocking his child. The nurse discharging her simply turned around and took her back.

I talked to her, and all she said was “I don't know why I expected anything different. He's always making fun of me, calling me fat or ugly or stupid.”

It was terrible to see her lose her smile. Even though technically it was bedtime, I set her up with a movie while we waited to see if her mother would be able to come and get her. Every time I did rounds, I poked my head in to make sure she was okay, and she would give me a wan smile.

When we finally got word that her mother would be able to pick her up, I was relieved to tell her—and checked to make sure that she was comfortable going home with her. She nodded, looking a little less distraught. She asked if she could lay down while waiting for her, and of course I agreed.

Not everyone who has children deserves them. This girl was bright, smart, popular and beautiful. She was ambitious and practical, and I watched everything she had learned here dissolve under the insults of her father. I hope her mother offers more support, but I have seen a great many kids come and go here; it's almost like a revolving door. There are some kids who act out right before they are set to be discharged just because they're scared to leave. If they tell us why, we try to help, but sometimes they are so used to silence they don't know anything else. In that case, all we have is a vague sense of something being wrong, and we can't report that to CPS. We can, however, pull their social workers aside, and hope that they are able to glean more information.

And for this girl, all I could do it hope that her mother will help her grow and thrive—and that she'll never have to talk to her father again.