Together

Usually, my job doesn't affect my private life. I am very good at compartmentalizing, after all. But yesterday there was a girl who looked just like my sister. And around her neck were bruises from where she tried to hang herself.

Now, I don't believe my sister would ever attempt something like that, but it was a bit of a jolt. To look at her, she seemed so cheerful, so ready to encourage others and smile. I wondered how much of it was faked, and how much of it was just relief to not have to hide anymore.

There is some controversy in putting a bunch of suicidal teenagers in a room together to try to help them. Some people believe that it's just asking for trouble. But, having struggled with depression for years, it's something that I find hope in. For once, these girls don't have to hide. For once, they can share openly, and have someone nod and say "I've been there. I understand."

We live in a somewhat egocentric society; we are raised to think that we are all unique and special, but the reality is that we are all, at our core, human. Still, we believe that how we feel and experience life is 100% unlike anyone else's, and so how can anyone identify with us? But here, in a psych ward, the barriers are useless. There are scars, bruises, track marks, identifiers we as staff recognize well, and the girls know too. They talk, they laugh, they cry. It seems cathartic.

Wouldn't it be such a relief to be so open in the real world? To never have to hide, to keep your emotions open and clear...this is an impossible dream. There will always be shadows. But, sometimes, maybe a cloud will dissipate, and the sun will chase away our secrets.

I could use that right about now.