Waiting

I am now in that terrible waiting period between jobs. It will take a while for my hospital to work through the lengthy list of people who need training, and until that happens, I am expected to wait.

In some ways, I am very good at waiting. "A man can never be bored if his head is stuffed with lore," after all, and I would say that indeed, my head is stuffed with lore. I love the glimpses of magic we see beyond the borders of our world, and I love to draw them, write them, revel in them. I have many things that I could do while living out this uncertain waiting game, and yet here I am, updating a blog I am not certain anyone reads or finds beneficial in any way. Why? Some would say vanity, others, boredom, still more, desperation.

I say hope.

I began this blog to write about what I saw at work, what I felt and experienced. For me, this blog is a way to process through what I now consider routine and what many would consider extraordinary. I want to offer a chance for others to see a psychological hospital through the eyes of a staff there. I want to change the perspectives of even just one person, show them that beauty is found even there, in what many would call an ugly place.

And I want to keep writing about it.

I want to keep writing about the silly things, the heart-breaking things, the things that make me smile or think or laugh or cry. Maybe, someday, my words will cause some reader to do the same. I love my job; I love the staff I work with, and the children whose lives I have the chance to touch. There is so much negativity associated with what I do, but the reality is that we do great things. We offer stability, caring, and yes, love to those who have none, even if it is for a brief moment. It is as beautiful as it is heartbreaking, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

If you are reading this blog, maybe for the first time, maybe not, I would appreciate some indication that you are out there. I want to know if I am making you think, or maybe given you hope. Some small encouragement for me to keep writing, even now, when I am waiting.

After all, aren't we all waiting?